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I struggled with Anorexia Nervosa for three years and have spent the last four years actively in recovery. I'm proud to say that I've reached a place in my recovery where I now consider myself to be fully recovered.


What that means to me is knowing that I will never return to the darkness of my eating disorder no matter how difficult life becomes.


Ever since I began my recovery, I knew I wanted to eventually get a tattoo of the eating disorder recovery symbol but wasn't sure when the time would feel right.


Last year I started my dream job working at an eating disorder treatment centre and am so grateful to have been able to use my recovery to help the clients I work with.


This year during National Eating Disorders Awareness Week I felt inspired to celebrate my recovery and I decided to finally get my first ever tattoo.


I chose to get the eating disorder recovery symbol made from flowers as a reminder of the growth and healing I've experienced since starting my recovery.


I'm glad that I chose such a meaningful first tattoo and hope that I can continue to inspire others struggling with eating disorders that recovery is possible.


written by leah


usa



Alexia: My identical twin sister and I have a similar tattoo representing our zodiac sign and below it is the time the other was born. Taurus corresponds with us pretty well. It's very affectionate, and also sensitive. It's a strong personality, and we're definitely that.

We do have really really strong tempers. Everything is multiplied and when we clash well it's also multiplied, and we know how to hurt each other. Sometimes it's too intense.

It's laughs and glances. We spend our time laughing.


Florence: It's impossible sometimes to be serious, it's terrible. Often we're in our bubble, and we can get out of it when we want to, and if we leave other people out it doesn't matter. It sounds super mean like that but well, we do what we can.


Alexia: We have a big sister, I think she must have suffered from that when we were young. She's always said that she felt a distance, that it wasn't the same. People who say I understand and they are incredibly close to their brother or sister, sorry, it has nothing on this.


Florence: One morning while I was in Germany studying for three months, I got up and my knee was hurting, my right knee. It was inexplicable because I hadn't done anything.

I got a message from Alexia saying, I really hurt myself today, my knee. Oh really, I said, which one? The right one, she said.


Alexia: Oh but I thought it was you who fell off a bike.


Florence: You do that everytime, you always tell the story wrong.


told by alexia and florence


france



Warning: this post discusses suicidal feelings. Help always available from Samaritans on 116 123


Each day I will get up and make my bed, because each night it is me who has to lay in it.


August 30th 2016, after what had been four incredibly difficult years in what had been a very difficult life, I found myself sat on the cliff edge at Beachy Head, a notorious suicide spot on the South Coast of England.


I was at a point in my life where I couldn't go on struggling anymore. A point of utter crisis and desperation.


I had been seen sat on the cliff edge for an hour or two. I have no real memory of it apart from one thing.


An off-duty police officer was paragliding and he called out to me as he passed through the air. He approached me on foot and began talking to me, which brought me out of my catatonic state.


I was detained by the local Police under section 136 of the mental health act and taken to a place of safety.


Eventually I was referred to the community mental health team, seen by a Doctor and it was at this point that the BPD diagnosis was made.


From that point I saw myself on square one of a snakes and ladders board, a fresh start, square one, with what was going to be an up and down journey into understanding and learning to live with and manage my Borderline Personality Disorder.


I joined some mental health support charity groups, one in particular was IPSUM in Swindon.

This is where I started recording my poetry. People heard it, liked it and this encouraged me to write more.


The poem "I Have To Lay In It" was written around July 2017 and tackles periods including a suicide attempt in front of my ex (the mother of my youngest of three sons) the chaotic life I'd led, the addiction to prescription medication, recreational substances, and my alcoholism.


At the time of writing this I am 59 days sober after a 6 month period of drinking and isolation.


My poem searches for redemption, for forgiveness, and is an apology to those around me who I put through so much pain, so much bloody pain.


A poem which I will continue to perform.


A piece which I will continue to share.



written by scott


uk



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