'I don't have a tattoo.' That's what I always say.
When I built this site and started the tattoo project, people kept asking when I was going to get a tattoo. I laughed and said never.
But when I woke up yesterday I had this realisation.
I remembered I do have a tattoo. I have three tattoos.
They are tiny black dots made with a tattoo machine. They used them to line up the radiotherapy machine.
You have treatment every day for three weeks and it needs to be targeted exactly, so they have to use something which can't disappear.
After they did them I asked if I could see the control panel behind the glass window. I wanted to know how it worked. I wanted to know everything.
They said no but I was insistent and they let me in. On the screens I could see the images of my body and inside one breast there was a dark shape.
I asked what it was and they explained it was a metal marker which they leave behind when they take the tumour out so they can be sure of the exact location.
I know my tattoos are there. I don't know why I had 'forgotten'.
We can't remember everything and many things sink to the bottom of our minds, but they always resurface.
written by nell