Like a chrysalis...

A couple of years ago, I was travelling a difficult path.

Like a chrysalis, I suffered while at the same time welcomed a new transformation, even if it was a long way from its starting point.

I had decided to make some big changes to my life and I was feeling scared and helpless as to whether my decisions were right, or simply a series of desperate actions.

It being December, I was already aware these were days of an inner winter: cold and very emotional. Nevertheless, in previous years, I had been better equipped to get myself into a warmer space to think and feel.

But I couldn’t do it that year.

One day, I woke and went out into my garden.

Feeling nothing, I stared at every plant, tree, root and branch. Their browns, greens and yellows. Every leaf’s veins like nature’s walking map.

And, suddenly, there they were. Little red dots, some of them with little black spots. I’d never received visits from ladybirds. My heart leapt and my eyes started to rain.

Ladybirds have always been symbols of possibilities and good luck. Such tiny things, they’d made my tree their temporary home and allowed me to visit them, just to contemplate them.

A gift. A glimmer of hope.

That day, I decided to draw one of them on my skin, as a reminder that wherever my life and its changes take me, I make my own luck.

I don’t need to wait for an epiphany from a ladybird.

Just be still, breathe and find it all round me.

written by estrella