My mum was my biggest fan...

tattoo of a clematis flower

My Mum was always my biggest fan. Since deciding upon acting as my career she came to every single performance I did - twice.

The first time she would watch me and only me, and often didn't get a good grip of the story on stage. The second time she would watch mainly me, but allow herself to take in other characters and so begin to understand a little more.

In 2015 she was diagnosed with breast cancer and the toughest four years of our lives began as she faced every kind of horrific treatment.

Four weeks after she attended my graduation ceremony on Bournemouth beach (loving every minute), her condition began to worsen and she was admitted to hospital.

A week later as my Dad was helping me move house we got a call from my sister who was at the hospital; a doctor had told her that Mum's condition had gone downhill dramatically and we were to prepare for the end.

We rushed to the hospital a hundred miles away and spent 4 special days with her before we lost her in July 2019.

Mum loved her garden and took great care of it for years, knowing every detail about every plant. She would give any visitor who came to the house an extensive tour which they agreed to - unaware that it often took over an hour.

The centrepiece of her garden was a wooden arch over which grew a magnificent dark purple clematis, her favourite colour and her favourite flower.

On the day she died, before I went to visit her, I took a picture of the Clematis to show her how beautiful it was that day.

After Mum died, I felt like a very different person to the one I'd been just weeks before receiving my degree.

I wanted my body to reflect how I felt on the inside.

written by jacob