I got my tattoo 2 or 3 weeks before I finished therapy for PTSD. I was really disassociated which is like being drunk without the fun.
You feel a bit numb and you just go through the motions but you’re not really there. Therapy was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. If I had it my way I would’ve just quietly dealt with the shit I needed to and slowly festered. I really wasn’t in a good place when I got it done. I was sort of halfway through coming out of the well I was in and was thinking I need to do something big to remind myself that I am still alive and still have feelings. I was just so flatlined. My only real, one true love is the moon.
Even when I was little, if I ever felt like things were overwhelming or I was a bit lost, I’d look up and say, ‘Well, the moon’s there,’ which makes me feel really tiny in comparison.
Therapy properly takes off all the Band-Aids, leaves you raw and then you’ve got to try and figure out how to stitch it all back together again.
I left my final session with the leftovers of the shit but with a better knowledge and awareness of my feelings. My coping strategies are much better and safer and I’ve ironed out creases as the months have gone on. I got my tattoo to make me bloody well feel something.
told by kenny